nimishabhat:

the best ones:

Cormac McCarthy

In the opening scene, Edward dashes Bella’s head against a rock and rapes her corpse. Then he and Jacob take off on an unexplained rampage through the West.

Kate Chopin

Stifled by her marriage to Edward, Bella has an affair with Jacob and then drowns herself.

Ernest Hemingway

Edward and Bella exchange terse dialogue alluding to Edward’s anatomical problem. Eventually, Bella leaves him for Jacob, a local bullfighter with a giant…sense of entitlement.

 Oh my god, this so good! I must say that the best one is this one though:

Ayn Rand

Edward tells Bella that he intends to stop saving her life, unless she starts paying him in gold bullion. Hatefucking ensues, then Jacob spouts objectivist philosophy for the next 100 pages.

And if I had to write my own it would be:

Leo Tolstoy

Disappointed with herself for never trying at anything Bella decides to leave her married life with Edward to start a new family with Jacob but eventually bogged down by her own narcissism throws herself under a train repeatedly.

(Source: bookriot)

1. that-hungry-moose liked this
2. dog-master liked this
3. coloursallcomeback reblogged this from lived
4. all-along liked this
5. saturdays liked this
6. lived reblogged this from aufildutemps
7. piccolodragonzord liked this
8. paperbagcovered liked this
9. paperbagcovered reblogged this from zaiatzgeist
10. imrosengarten liked this
11. imrosengarten reblogged this from bellatrixs-evilcorner
12. bellatrixs-evilcorner reblogged this from booklover
13. ironcuppycake reblogged this from aspiretowritemore
14. aspiretowritemore reblogged this from booklover and added:

    Yes, you’re welcome! :)

15. oneorangeshoelace reblogged this from ruisenora
16. schadenfreudess reblogged this from ruisenora and added:

    I was disappointed that he didn’t make the list, so I took it upon myself to include him.

17. ruisenora reblogged this from schadenfreudess and added:

    Oh lawdy, Jessica. Reblogging for Moffat.

18. pagan-poetry reblogged this from booklover
19. skandaleiparkeringshuset liked this
20. slytherinesque reblogged this from shippingtheships
21. aburningtouch reblogged this from my-terrible-life
22. shippingtheships reblogged this from wondernine
23. sordidcrayons reblogged this from widowmaker
24. fuckingonthesubway reblogged this from thefuckingimpala and added:

    THIS. This is wonderful. The sounds that I made…

25. bondagemaenad reblogged this from sanityscraps
26. wecouldexplorethegalaxy reblogged this from lifeasaspot
27. lifeasaspot reblogged this from disappearingintotime
28. genderquestions liked this
29. creag-an-tuire reblogged this from dasdeutschtard
30. turtlewriter reblogged this from booklover
31. duckyskade liked this
32. duckyskade reblogged this from cardiacparade
33. jaywhal liked this
34. klowey liked this
35. heartsaredrowning liked this
36. wolvesofmars reblogged this from chadleymacguff
37. thewrongineed reblogged this from chadleymacguff and added:

    Fucking Kate Chopin.

38. astudyinsecondbreakfast liked this
39. sunnyxstars reblogged this from chadleymacguff
40. mayathestrange liked this
41. armedandequal liked this
42. chadleymacguff reblogged this from oneandonlygabriel
43. dasdeutschtard reblogged this from oneandonlygabriel
44. oneandonlygabriel reblogged this from englandsdreaming
45. kateheartscupcakes liked this
46. kateheartscupcakes reblogged this from labijouterie
47. labijouterie reblogged this from goldenfools
48. hiddenguardy reblogged this from booklover
49. sonicdreams reblogged this from heathyr
50. whitepeoplelikeme reblogged this from chemicallyunwound
51. Show more notesLoading...